The first question at almost every dinner party: "So, what do you do?"

And then we answer with our job title, as if those few words could actually capture the fullness of who we are.

I remember when I first started questioning this habit. I was at a networking event, automatically launching into my rehearsed elevator pitch about being a "Business Development Director" – and suddenly thought, "Wait, is this really who I am? Or just what I do?"

That moment was the beginning of a much bigger journey than I realized.

When we attach our identity to our job title, we're putting our sense of self in a pretty rickety basket.

What happens when you remove your job title from your self-introduction?

For many of us, there's an uncomfortable silence where our identity should be.

We don't start out this way.

Think back to when you were a kid. How did you introduce yourself? I'm guessing it wasn't with a LinkedIn headline!

Kids naturally share what they love, what they're curious about, what makes them light up. "I'm the girl who loves dinosaurs!" "I'm the boy who can do magic tricks!"

But somewhere along the way, society convinced us that our professional achievements are the most interesting and valuable things about us. Our education funnelled us toward specific paths. Our family conversations centered on career milestones. Our worth became tangled up with our work.

I see this with almost every client I work with. Accomplished professionals who, when asked to describe themselves without mentioning their job, struggle to find the words.

This attachment costs us more than we realize.

When our identity is fused to a job title, we make decisions from fear rather than possibility.

You stay in toxic environments because leaving feels like losing part of yourself. You hesitate to explore new paths because "that's not who I am." You become afraid of failure because it threatens your very sense of self.

I had a client who'd spent 18 years building her legal career. When she finally admitted she wanted something completely different, her first panic wasn't about money. It was existential: "If I'm not a lawyer, who am I?"

But the truth? She was someone with analytical brilliance, deep empathy, and a gift for making complex things simple. She was a nature lover, a storyteller, a connector of people. She was SO much more than "lawyer."

And so are you.

Here's the liberating truth:

Finding Yourself Beyond Your Title

Here's a little exercise I do with my clients that often leads to major breakthrough moments:

Think of three times in your life when you felt most alive, most like yourself. Times when you thought, "This is what I'm meant for."

Were those moments defined by your job title – or by something deeper?

For me, those moments included sitting under a tree in Bali having deep conversations with new friends, helping a client experience a massive "aha" about their true calling, and the freedom I felt taking a random Wednesday off to explore a new part of the island.

None of those peak moments had anything to do with my business card. They were about connection, impact, and freedom – my core values.

Your professional strengths didn't come from your job title. Your analytical mind was analyzing long before you became an analyst. Your creativity was creating long before you became a creative director.

These are inherent to who you are, not what you do.

If you're contemplating a shift – whether it's changing careers, starting a business, or reimagining your current role – here's what I want you to try:

1. Play with new introductions. The next time someone asks what you do, share what you care about instead. "I'm someone who loves connecting people with their purpose" or "I'm exploring what it means to create work that feels like freedom."
2. Rediscover abandoned interests. What did you love before your career took center stage? What have you always been curious about but never had time to explore?
3. Find your people outside work. When was the last time you made friends who have no idea what you do professionally? Who know you for YOU?
4. Build before you burn. When I left corporate, I didn't immediately set fire to my business cards. I started exploring new identities alongside my existing one, giving myself permission to try things on gradually.

When you separate your identity from your title, you find freedom.

• Freedom to explore without existential crisis.
• Freedom to define success beyond promotions and paychecks.
• Freedom to know that you've always been enough – not because of what you do, but because of who you are.

The next time someone asks "What do you do?" at a dinner party, I dare you to answer with who you are instead.

It changes everything.

Here are a few videos that can help you navigate this transition:

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What parts of your identity exist beyond your professional role? If you're comfortable sharing, hit reply and let me know!

-Lydia

P.S. Ready to build a tiny-but-mighty business that gives you true freedom?

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